I am in a season of “becoming“. Since this summer, I have been working on learning to say, “No” and be okay with my answer. This struggle follows me around in people-pleasing, overbooking my schedule and in maintaining self-control when it comes to eating. At the slightest bit of conflict, I let go of my goal and give into the temptation to please others as well as my own cravings.
Today, as my bare feet stood on the cold scale waiting on the 3 digit number to pop up, I was reminded yet again that when you say Yes to something, you are saying No to something else. And this week, my friend, was my goal weight. Seems like God really wants to reinforce that idea in my life! But this consistent lesson shed a new light this morning. When I logged on to my WW app, it prompted me with a screen that brought more encouragement for my life as a whole than they may have intended. Read below…
I gained weight this week from giving in to my desire for chips & dip, soda and cookies this weekend. And while I could come down hard on myself, I don’t believe that guilt or shame would help my task at hand; after all, guilt doesn’t come from God. And yes, you may notice that it was only a lb and a half but when your goal is 1-2 lbs per week, it makes a difference. Anyway, the treasure in the field is highlighted in the second paragraph minus the typo in the second sentence. “Look back at this week and see what you might be able to change; then let go of what you can’t. The best thing to do is focus on
is making this coming week a success.”
“Look back at this week and see what you might be able to change; then let go of what you can’t.” Wow! Isn’t it great when someone gives us permission to “let go”? ESPECIALLY when the thing we need to let go of is something we cannot change! There are times when I hold onto others’ comments & reactions and I dwell on them for days, weeks, sometimes months. My mother-in-law gave me a piece of advice one time, “It’s none of your business what other people think.” And it’s so true! We cannot control or change how people feel so it’s best to focus on our response versus reacting out of fear/anger/rejection. Looking back at this weekend, I had no control over the food at various restaurants or Christmas parties but I could have controlled myself with smarter choices & portion size versus eating anything and everything I wanted.
“The best thing to do is focus on making this coming week a success.” What can I do this week to bring me closer to my goal? For one, I can recognize the triggers that cause me to overeat. I have another Christmas party tonight that I have been looking forward to for a long time and with that, there are two triggers of celebration and fellowship. I am one to reward myself for a job well done so as we celebrate the end of the year tonight, the pleasure center of my brain will be stimulated and I’ll be tempted to overeat. Therefore, the thing I can change is controlling the portion size I choose tonight. Also, in the midst of the holiday season when I know that I’m going to be tempted by goodies, I can control what I eat at home and save my “flex points” for the party so that I can indulge guilt-free and not feel deprived.
Not bad for wisdom gained from 2 sentences, right? But let’s take it a step further. There are other situations where I’ve gained emotional weight because I feel guilty for people-pleasing. In the temptation to say Yes and gain others’ approval, I go against what I know is right for me and I choose to people-please. I look back to where I could have said No, stood up for myself or been honest about my feelings and I regret how the situation played out. People-pleasing is a no-win situation. When I choose to people-please, I end up letting someone down whether it is myself or someone else. This is when I need to to come to terms with the fact that I cannot control others. I can only choose my own response.
So looking back at my week, I can use the WW advice all over again. What could I have changed? What was out of my control? And then, move on…focusing on how I can make the next week better. Becoming a God-pleaser for me begins with self-control and saying No to my gut-reactions and choosing to be present in the situation with sober judgement.
What do you struggle with? Can you follow the same advice?