When I first become a mom, I felt totally out of place. What was I supposed to do with this little person?! I was scared and unsure of myself as a mom and at that time, my two good mom-friends moved away and another friend went home for the summer. It wasn’t long before I quickly began to feel alone.
I had just graduated from seminary and while I did have friends who were still in school, their schedules didn’t exactly line up with mine. It was at that point that I decided to ask God for a friend. It was a simple prayer, asking the Lord to provide a woman in my life who was also a mom, who shared my beliefs and had a similar schedule so we could hang out.
I don’t remember how many times I asked God but I remember it was more than once. When you’re a new mom (or wife or student), it’s easy to feel lonely so I chose to use those moments asking God to supply some friends.
Well, to my surprise, He answered that prayer within a few months! I remember getting an email requesting prayer for a family moving up to attend the seminary. The wife had given birth to her daughter just a few days before and the baby was in the NICU. I didn’t know who she was but I started praying for her. I also found her on Facebook (stalker) and invited her to join a Mommy & Me playgroup that I was going to start in September once school began. Once their daughter was better and they moved up to TN, she agreed to come.
When God brought Daimi into my life, He answered my prayer completely. She was a new mom, had an open schedule, was looking for friends and was completely sold out to Jesus. Her faith was (and still is) a breath of fresh air. It was during our second time hanging out that we both revealed we had been praying for a friend. Talk about cool, right?!
Since then, we have watched our babies turn into toddlers and had our second kids only months apart. We’ve cried with one another, held each other accountable, had some difficult conversations and have prayed countless prayers through all hours of the night.
Before I go on, if you are reading this and wishing you had a similar connection, pause where you are right now and ask God for a friend. He does not always answer every prayer but I believe he honors our requests for community. We are not meant to do life alone.
Another way that God answered my prayer was through our local mommy groups. While I was still pregnant, I found a MOPS group that was starting their first year that fall. Over the last three years, I have been a part of the bible study that formed through this ministry. The highlight of my month is getting together with these women, sharing our hearts, praying through our struggles and laughing over our crazy kiddos. When I asked God to bring a friend to my life, I didn’t realize He would also bring me sisters. 🙂
I cannot mention my MOPS group though without also recommending that you search for a local chapter of the Mom’s Club in your area. I have been blessed by the women in this group. Not everyone shares my faith, but it has not stopped us from growing together and building relationships as moms of little ones.
Whether you are a mother, a student, a wife, a grandparent or a single woman, if you are feeling lonely, ask God for a friend. Pray that He will bring someone like-minded into your life who has a similar schedule and may also be looking for a friend. I know a lot of people pray who pray for their future spouses so why not pray for friendships as well! If you are longing for community, you can also look into local church groups as well.
One final note, while praying for friendship, you may also need to pray for the courage to put yourself out there. In a society built on individualism, it’s not easy to form friendships that last. It takes integrity, openess and the risk of getting hurt. However, I caution you to exercise discernment when opening up to someone you may have just met. With Daimi, we both felt a connection that we knew was from God alone. But I have also opened up my heart to other friends who have broken it. God has healed these wounds though. Don’t allow the fear of getting hurt stand in the way of you finding a friend. God is bigger than the bullies in our life.
Father, thank you for Daimi and the other women in my life who pour into me. Thank you for my bible study and for my Mom’s club. I pray for my dear sister who feels alone right now. You know who she is, you know her desire for connection. I pray that you would supply her with friendship. Bring a woman who is sold out to You to bring light into her life. Bring a woman who will challenge her to be her best. Bring a woman who will cry with her over loss. Help her to know this is a safe space to open her heart and spare her from pain. You are our Great Protector. Shield us from those who try to bring us down and surround us with those who are focused on the above. It’s in your wonderful Son’s name we pray, Amen.